I know a great pair of gals, a real case of yin and yang. The first is named Topanga. She was raised in Malibu, has long curly dark hair, and grew up to be a writer / modern dancer / yoga instructor. The second is named Addison. She was raised in an east coast prep … Continue reading
Latest Entries
The Chicken Story
Sometimes people ask me to tell The Chicken Story because it answers a lot of questions, such as: Questions at the time – What is that noise coming from downstairs? – Why are there feathers all over my car? Questions that people ask today – Why were you laugh-crying during the opening scene of The … Continue reading
Zombie Nation
There are a few solid ways to rot your brian: Sipping the sizzup (thank you Lil’ Wayne), or Dropping a sheet of acid (thank you SLC Punk video!), and/or Getting preggers (thank you Michelle Duggar). I just found a new one, which is logging long flights in a short period of time. Some of us … Continue reading
The Wedding Fire
Maybe it’s because I just binge-watched 3 seasons of Downton Abbey, or because I went to a wedding in London recently, but my internal dialogue is running in an English accent. All I want to do is talk about the Dowager Countess, and Lady Mary, and Daisy, and horrible O’Brien, but I should tell a … Continue reading
Blastoff
I’m headed to my parents’ house right now to celebrate Christmas for 8 days straight. Like Scandinavian Hanukkah, but with more carols. In preparation for the trip, I ate all of this week’s left-overs cleaned out the fridge, laundered the linens for the house-sitters (albeit too early since I slept in a Snuggie last night), … Continue reading
Thunderstruck
For college, I went to a nerd school. Nerdwestern. And it was amazing. We showed up to legions of like-minded kids who read for fun and debated recreationally. As a girl, this was cool with me, but my three dude engineer friends wanted to meet chicks like they’d seen in R-rated college movies. More specifically, … Continue reading
Thanksgiving Past
This year I opted not to travel for Thanksgiving. Nothing gives me agita worse than treading on a moving walkway in the airport behind a three-year-old whose parents have given her a miniature suitcase, which seems to serve the sole purpose of adding drag to an already impossibly slow-moving human being. In the past I … Continue reading
Toast
Most Christmas fires start because of dry trees, light strands, lit candles, or stay wrapping paper. I, however, can start a Christmas fire using just a simple toaster. Christmas 2011, Misadventures with Toast My favorite breakfast is a single piece of peanut butter toast, half a banana, an orange slice, a glass of whole milk, … Continue reading
Royal Flush
I am on a plane to San Francisco. Right now. When it was my turn at JFK airport security this morning, I handed the TSA agent my new horrible license (see picture) and a sheet of sudoku puzzles. I know, he was also confused. He looked at both sides of the paper, then asked, “Miss, … Continue reading
Caution: Teenagers
I babysat starting at the age of eight. I babysat all the time – in elementary school, in middle school, in high school, in college. And I was really bad at it. – To the parents I offered: cheap child care; my own ride home; a stream of good news about finishing homework, consuming vegetables, … Continue reading
