ALL / Travel

Zombie Nation

mcdonaldsThere are a few solid ways to rot your brian:

  1. Sipping the sizzup (thank you Lil’ Wayne), or
  2. Dropping a sheet of acid (thank you SLC Punk video!), and/or
  3. Getting preggers (thank you Michelle Duggar).

I just found a new one, which is logging long flights in a short period of time. Some of us just spent lottsa hours in a plane prison chamber seat – aka solitary confinement. It’s enough to make a stunted Lil’ SLC Duggar look like Ken Jennings.

Three friends and I came off long plane rides to South Africa and then got in the car for a road trip. People like road trips when they involve convertible tops, mix tapes, and junk food. But the four of us were struggle town: we had (1) driving for the first time on the left side of the road, (2) dizzy over Malaria meds, (3) heaving from hangover motion sickness, and (4) dying of gaseous antibiotic stomach gut.

Finally, it was time to break at the combination McDonalds + Gas Station (yes, they exist in Africa). We walk/hobbled up to the building. At the double doors we all tried to enter by yanking on the handles, but they seemed locked. We made Blue Blocker hands to look inside and there were tons of people in there.

We walked to another part of the building and found a door to jiggle. Foiled! But still, so many people getting soft drinks and using the bathrooms inside Mc-D heaven. But HOW?

Some locals saw our struggle and led our group to the first set of doors, saying “Stoot.” Which, means “Push” in Afrikaans. And I’m pretty sure Gary Larson was laughing…


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