ALL / Travel

Blastoff

blastoffI’m headed to my parents’ house right now to celebrate Christmas for 8 days straight. Like Scandinavian Hanukkah, but with more carols. In preparation for the trip, I ate all of this week’s left-overs cleaned out the fridge, laundered the linens for the house-sitters (albeit too early since I slept in a Snuggie last night), and wrote these incredibly helpful pack and do-not-pack lists.

Pack List

– Giant Suitcase: There’s no sales tax in MN (vs 10% in NYC), so basically this means everything’s on sale. And I need more clothes, like the West Village needs a Syphilis scare.

– Presents for Family: We share an Amazon account, so I unintentionally generated order confirmations to them with pictures of the gifts. Shrug.

– 4 Delta Drink Tickets: Reason number infinity why Delta is my favorite airline. They snail-mailed me drink coupons prior to my “upcoming holiday travel.”

– MacBook, Kindle, iPad, iPhone, iPod: I get DT when we’re separated.

– Elastic Waistbands: The best discovery ever was the stretchy pencil skirt. It’s like yoga pants for grown-ups.

Do-Not-Pack List

– Wrapping Paper: Because see #2 on Pack List.

– Pets: Last time the stray cats and I flew together, I got stigmata hands trying to carry them through the metal detectors. So that won’t be happening again.

– Greek yoghurt: I previously had a nasty debate with a TSA agent over whether it was a liquid or a solid. Agree to disagree.

– Cosmetics: I don’t need to be running around with my chalky CoverGirl, when I can sticky finger some nice products from my mom and sister. Thanks in advance, girlfriends.

– Phone charger: I finally looked myself in the mirror and admitted that I will never ever ever in a million years remember to pack my phone charger, so let’s park it on the do-not-pack list.

READY. SET. BLASTOFF.

5 thoughts on “Blastoff

  1. moth, it’s my prediction that you’ll be at Best Buy as soon as the doors open, screaming and drooling “I need a charger!” I pretty much spit wine all over my keyboard at “stigmata hands”.

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