ALL / Dating

I Feel Pretty

In the Spring of 2007, I was dating a true lad.  He loved lager, played guitar in a band, and had dirty finger nails.  They were always too short, chewed on, with cracked cuticles – just generally bad boy fingernails.

Our lazy Sunday routine usually involved couch time and watching Planet Earth, before a traditional Sunday Roast dinner at his parent’s house.  During the couch sessions, I would bring out my manicure kit and do my nails for the week ahead.  On this particular Sunday, I said, “Hey, why don’t you let me give you a manicure too?”  With a knee jerk, he said, “What?  NO!”  After a little convincing and a little cajoling, he agreed.

With OCD bubbling under my surface, I knew this was going to be as satisfying as pulling the dried paste off an Elmer’s glue bottle.  So, I started.  First with a hand scrub, hot towel, and soaking.  Then, some filing, nail oil, and a cuticle trim.  We moved on to buffing, and smoothing, and shining his nails.  They  started to look really decent.

We should haven been done, but I couldn’t help myself.  I thought, You know what?  His nails would look even better with a base coat.  And, that’s when I painted his nails.  Just one coat.  Just with clear polish.  He protested a little saying that they looked too shiny.  I explained that they were just wet and it was like a nail conditioner that would dry.  Also, they looked really pretty.

The next day he came home from work, when I was in the kitchen making dinner.  He called out, “One of the girls at the office asked me if I were wearing nail varnish.”  My heart skipped a beat.  “What did you say?”  I called back.  “I told her it was nail conditioner,” he said.

Because ignorance is bliss.  And Bliss is my new favorite Essie color.

One thought on “I Feel Pretty

  1. About two weeks before I quit drinking I ended up over at me brothers house after a night of partying. His 8 year old step-daughter was painting her nails. In the middle of all of that I ended up getting my toenails painted…five different colors. They were still that way when I got baptized.

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