ALL / Dating

AcidRose

THE MEET

It was December 2009 and a friend invited me to his Upper West Side home for an afternoon Christmas party replete with holiday spirits and an open fire. The open house was nice and I met one of his college friends – AcidRose – who was tall, athletic, and had amazing wavy brown hair. Would I like to go with AcidRose to the Duke basketball game at Madison Square Garden with an extra ticket that he had? Of course, I would.

As soon as we sat down at the game, he began his soliloquy. The high points include his week long acid trip, culminating in an ocean drowning suicide attempt, meeting Jesus IN PERSON, washing ashore in North Carolina, and living to tell about it. It was only after this story that I realized he was more fried than a sunburned Janis Joplin.

THE FIRST DATE

AcidRose’s flight home had been cancelled due to a snowstorm on the evening that we met, so serendipitously he was in town for two more nights and asked if I would have dinner with him. Sure. Fine. We met at Blue Water Grill in NYC and sat down for dinner. We ordered our meals and they arrived without event. Before I could pick up my fork, he reached for my hands across the table to say a blessing. In the center of the restaurant we remained with locked hands, heads bowed, praying over our food. I was totally ok with this still and let me make clear that this is NOT the weird part of the evening.

We were praying for so long that the waitress came back to the table and asked how everything tasted and on auto-pilot I say it’s great. That’s when I could see him squirm in his seat like serpentines from the Garden of Eden were crawling up his pant leg. I could read this guy like a large font Dr. Seuss book. “Are you mad that I just lied to the waitress about the food tasting good before I tried it?” Yes. Yes, he was mad that I had just sinned. Oh hell.

I get through dinner and we go for a coffee afterwards. It’s just so hard to separate the movie star handsome from the Jesus freak crazy. But alas, I say goodnight and head home. Over then next 3 hours he called me a handful of times gushing over what a wonderful time he had and how he hopes that I will someday marry him. I gently inform him that I consulted my horoscope and Ouija board, which told me that this would not be the future. Let me reiterate that this is still NOT the weird part of the date.

It’s about 1PM the following day when I get a call from the security desk of my office building because I have a guest downstairs. Now this IS the weird part of the story. I go down to the lobby and AcidRose is standing there holding a loose guitar (sans case) like we are in some Drew Barrymore Rom Com. I yank his sleeve and escort him to about the most private place I can find. I whisper, “I thought I made it perfectly clear that I am not going to marry you.” To which he replies… and I quote him directly… “I THINK YOU’LL FEEL DIFFERENTLY ONCE YOU HEAR THE SONG THAT I WROTE.”

27 thoughts on “AcidRose

  1. If you kept a straight face, I applaud you! I would have lost it! LOL Thank you for the follow… I am following you now but I promise not to show up with a song that I wrote….

  2. LOLOL! You never know, he might be the “one”! My husband persisted after me for 3 months just to go out with him before I finally agreed and we’ve been married for 6.5 years now and going strong. Of course, he wasn’t an acid freak either. But he did die and come back. Now I tell him that God sent him back just so he could be here for me πŸ™‚ Strange things happen some times! Great story though, still chuckling. Blessings, Terri

  3. Bad dates are one thing, but then there are those experiences people can write movies, books, blogs about. I just had bad dates, the kind where some little creep with stinky breath wants to hold your hand. This is the kind of story where your girlfriends want a comfy chair and every detail. Sorry you had to live through it!

  4. Oh… my… gosh… This is my FAVORITE one yet. I have to admit, though creepy, I am becoming more and more convinced that I must date more so that I can have more stories!

  5. AH, the TARTNESS of YOUTH! I remember it like it was only a millenium of “JUST DAYS AGO”. Moths have no clue to what sets them, no idea that they’re only the key to the various “Clocks” of ‘fire’… YOURS!
    The tale acheives its cresting to climax though stuttered to “VOYEUS INTERUPTUS”. Is this a modern version of the serial radio mystery minute? If so PLAY ON.
    SMILE.

    “D” /om

  6. Your blog is very funny. Sweet and bittersweet. But v. good. My worst ever date was with a woman who claimed to be a ‘spiritualist’. Halfway through the evening she said that my dead mother was sitting beside me. Not the kind of thing you want to hear on a first date especially if your mother is actually deceased! So, no second date after that. My phone mysteriously stopped taking incoming calls for 2 weeks afterwards. Hmm, strange that… πŸ™‚

  7. Holy shitballs. I have an overwhelming case of the heebie-jeebies right now. Also – I can’t believe you didn’t give us MORE! Did he cry? I bet he cried and fell to his knees after he sang that song to you. I bet he messed up the chords and everything and was pitchy in spots too. Did the security guy have to throw him out on his tookus? Did he come back ala. John Cusak in “Say Anything” with a gynormous boom box playing “In Your Eyes”?

    Also – thanks for following my humble little blog. You’re a peach and I think that you could possibly be pretty cool, too. Let’s be BFF’s, m’kay?

  8. I may have married, and subsequently divorced AcidRose. Ex husband did acid and thought he WAS Jesus. Eventually went down the Jesus Freak road (still on it actually).

  9. Okay. What were the words in that song?
    If you went out with someone that just enjoyed your company you would have nothing to write about. Keep on writing.. You’ve got good stuff.

  10. Well that sounds like the first four years of my dating life. It’s the ones that THINK they’re musicians that do the creepiest things.

  11. I can’t wait till your NEXT date! I had a guy who INSISTED on riding naked in my car…on the first date. I thought it was so funny I said.>SURE …go ahead, I really didn’t think he would do it.

    You should have seen the truckers faces during rush hour traffic. (Now you are going FIRST DATE JOYANNA? ) I of course, was fully dressed.

    The guy worked as a stripper, I guess he just like having his clothes off! LOL! and no, I never saw him again. 45 minutes of a naked man was enough.

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